色色啦

Wearing a simple red jumper and illuminated by a single spotlight, Hussein performed two stripped back songs, including of the traditional folk song 鈥淥ld Stepstones,鈥� her eyes squeezed close, that out-of-time voice 鈥� silken, but sharp-edged 鈥� cleaving聽through the silence.聽

Arriving at the height of indie rock鈥檚 late golden era, Cold Specks felt like a miraculous anachronism: a gothic union of southern R&B, blues and rock, that Hussein aptly describes as 鈥渄oom soul.鈥澛�

鈥淲hen the night comes, who will you be? / Even the dead can be astoundingly alive,鈥� she sings on 鈥淏lank Maps,鈥� an early Cold Specks single that showcased Hussein鈥檚 distinct sense of world-weary resolve; her singular pursuit of clarity in the murky gloom.聽

Like the , 鈥淚 Predict a Graceful Expulsion,鈥� her early songs were sparse and wintry, but filled with raw emotion that could overwhelm, and wounded melodies that left a fragile lump in your throat.

鈥淪o much of the human condition involves trying to control that which we can鈥檛 control,鈥� Chantal Kreviazuk, a songwriter and Cold Specks collaborator, told me. She recalled how she was 鈥渂rought to tears鈥� upon hearing Hussein鈥檚 music for the first time. 鈥淟adan does a great job of expressing that struggle, the pain of not being able to be content in the moment and reflecting on the past.鈥�

Over the course of the next decade, Hussein maintained an air of mystery, while building a reputation for being your favourite artist鈥檚 favourite artist: she collaborated with Massive Attack, Swans and Moby, and performed at Joni Mitchell鈥檚 birthday party at Massey Hall.聽

She went on to release two more acclaimed albums, before extensive touring and mental health struggles started to derail her career. She began to spiral, eventually suffering a breakdown.聽

In 2018, Hussein was hospitalized at 色色啦鈥檚 Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, and treated for what her doctors thought was schizophrenia. Three years later, she suffered another severe episode and . Though she was public about her struggle with mental illness, she largely receded from the spotlight.聽

In January, I unexpectedly received an email from Hussein. She wanted to discuss a new album, which she鈥檇 been working on for 鈥渁lmost a decade.鈥澛�

I opened the audio file and hit play. The emotions I associated with Cold Specks came flooding back.

鈥淔ever dreams and shattered hearts / Voices stop me every start,鈥� Hussein sings on 鈥淗ow It Feels,鈥� a big-tent piano ballad that opens the record. She sounds older 鈥� her voice elegantly thickened by the passage of difficult years 鈥� and haunted by a sense of longing, a desire for stability.

鈥淚 just want to remem鈥揵er how it feels,鈥� her voice thunders through shimmering strings, each syllable stretched outward like a stepladder ascending from darkness.

Arriving Wednesday, 鈥淟ight for the Midnight鈥� 鈥� a title inspired by a聽 that 鈥� is an extraordinary comeback album, one that sublimates pain and inner turmoil into a work of breathtaking beauty.

Written and meticulously assembled alongside an impressive list of songwriters and session musicians 鈥� including composer Owen Pallett and Portishead guitarist Adrian Utley 鈥撀� the album moves between stripped-back piano ballads and potent rock songs.

It鈥檚 an album about loss and separation, and an attempt to put the pieces back together following an intense聽breakup and series of mental health crises.聽

鈥淚t is a solemn record,” Hussein admitted, thoughtfully. “But the despair is not overwhelming. It is hopeful. It is full of light.鈥�

It was a blindingly bright afternoon in February when I met up with Hussein at Hart House, a Neo-Gothic student centre at the University of 色色啦鈥檚 downtown campus. Outside, sunlight dazzled across the newly accumulated mounds of snow, a vivid contrast to the tranquility inside the towering stone building.聽

Hussein led me through the building鈥檚 maze-like hallway and into the Great Hall, a聽stately room adorned with stained glass windows, bronze chandeliers and ornately panelled walls. She placed two chairs about 12 feet apart.聽

She was very anxious, she told me 鈥� this was the first interview she had done in years.聽

She pointed to a grand piano, a Steinway, tucked away in the corner of the room. It was here, nearly 20 years ago as a U of T student, that she first discovered her voice.

鈥淚 was probably 18,鈥� she said. 鈥淚鈥檇 skip class and sign up to use the piano, and I鈥檇 just get to be by myself.鈥� She didn鈥檛 know how to play, but knew she had an aptitude for music. 鈥淚鈥檇 just pick out notes, and try to find my pitch and tune,鈥� she explained, pensive. 鈥淭his was my favourite room.鈥�

During our hour-long conversation, Hussein bounced between a broad and scattered range of subjects. Her nerves slowly receded, but she was easily distracted, and pulled away on聽various tangents.聽

Between sneaky drags from her vape, she shared anecdotes from the whirlwind early days of her career: mingling with Adele (she鈥檚 “invited to the cookout,” but don鈥檛 compare their voices), collaborating with Massive Attack, working with Radiohead engineer Sam Petts-Davies. She speaks of London, the city where she first found success, with a sense of warm nostalgia.

For years, Hussein hasn鈥檛 been able to tour or find stable work in 色色啦. In recent months, she鈥檚 experienced bouts of homelessness, moving between her family home and city shelters. She鈥檚 eager to get the new album out, and maybe perform live again, but stability has remained elusive.聽

She needs to find a way to make money, she told me, so she can escape 鈥渢his dreadful-ass city.鈥�

Hussein was born in 色色啦, and raised in Etobicoke alongside six siblings. Her parents, immigrants from Somalia, worked low-paying jobs 鈥� her dad drove a taxi and her mom worked at the 色色啦 Star cafeteria 鈥� to support other family members in their move to Canada.

Growing up, her home was filled with sound 鈥� Arabic music from Egypt and Somali music, mostly. Her father was a musician back home, and spent a short period of time as a member of , a beloved musical group from Mogadishu that combined funk, R&B, benga and other sounds from the ‘70s and ‘80s.

The family eventually moved from Etobicoke to Brampton. A talented and precocious middle schooler with an interest in music, Hussein started playing the flute. She was good, but found it difficult to practice 鈥� 鈥淚 probably would have been able to play flute like Lizzo, if I practiced,鈥� she said, only semi-joking.

After graduating high school, in an effort to appease her parents, Hussein enrolled in the University of 色色啦, where she (half-heartedly) studied English literature. (The name Cold Specks was lifted from a line from 鈥淯lysses”: “Born all in the dark wormy earth, cold specks of fire, evil lights shining in the darkness.”)

At the time, Hussein was into alt-country and indie music, but everything changed following a 鈥渓ucky鈥� trip to Sonic Boom, a classic 色色啦 record shop, where she picked up three albums that revolutionized her taste: Aretha Franklin鈥檚 鈥淪pirit in the Dark,鈥� Sam Cooke鈥檚 鈥淟ive at the Harlem Square Club鈥� and James Carr鈥檚 鈥淕oldwax Sessions.鈥�

Hussein was immediately drawn to the raw vocal power and emotional dynamism of soul music, but it was Carr 鈥� a lesser-known Memphis-based vocalist who suffered from bipolar disorder 鈥� who would consume her.

鈥淚 worshipped him,鈥� she said. 鈥淎nd I said to myself, if I study this man, and I work hard, I can become the female version of him. I knew I had a raspy tone 鈥� a velvety tone that was unique to me. I just had to work.鈥�

Following her musical revolution, she began skipping class and falling behind on her reading. The lonely piano in the Great Hall beckoned.

Hussein was in her early 20s when she moved to London. Following her appearance on BBC, success arrived quickly.

鈥淚 Predict a Graceful Expulsion鈥� received widespread critical acclaim 鈥� a comforting record, 鈥渢he kind you cradle like a chipped mug of tea in a heatless apartment” 鈥� and landed on the Polaris Music Prize shortlist. (She was also nominated at the 2013 Juno Awards for breakout artists of the year, but lost to the Weeknd.)

Subsequent Cold Specks albums 鈥� 2014鈥檚 鈥淣europlasticity鈥� and 2017鈥檚 鈥淔ool鈥檚 Paradise鈥� 鈥� expanded on the sparse sound of her debut, incorporating elements of electronica and more contemporary indie rock. Both were also well-received by critics 鈥� 鈥淣europlasticity鈥� also landed a Polaris nomination 鈥� but they failed to live up to Hussein鈥檚 standards.聽

鈥淚 would very much like to remove those albums from my catalog,鈥� she told me. Even her first album was not fully formed, she insisted. 鈥淚 was very young, and I was still discovering how to sing. I didn鈥檛 know how to play guitar, either, and everything was in the same key.鈥�

For fans, imperfection was part of Cold Speck鈥檚 appeal. For Hussein, it became a motivational force.

鈥淚鈥檝e always wanted to make a classic album,鈥� she said. 鈥淭hat has been my greatest desire since I started making music.鈥�

In 2018, Hussein returned to 色色啦 after a three-month international tour failed to attract much success. During that time, her mind 鈥渦nravelled,鈥� she wrote in 聽about her psychotic break.

Following her hospitalization, she found both hope and a sense of stability聽by writing music. She was fragile, but ready to start over.

鈥淚 lost everything,鈥� she told the Star at the time. 鈥淭o be doing what I love again it鈥檚 been really, really good for the soul.鈥�

Later that year, Hussein reached out to Mute Records, the esteemed UK record label that had released the first two Cold Specks albums, and expressed interest in starting work on new songs. Joff Gladwell, an A&R scout for the label, said they were keen to have her back. 鈥淲e felt there was 鈥榰nfinished business鈥� with Ladan and that for various reasons we hadn鈥檛 made an album together that truly captured how incredible and raw her voice is live,鈥� he told me.

Unlike her previous two albums, Hussein wanted to record a project that sounded stripped back and elemental, something that tapped into the raw power of soul forebears like Nina Simone and James Carr. For the first time, she began working with other songwriters, and letting go of control.

鈥淚 used to be really precious about holding on to as much song writing as possible, but then I remembered James Carr did not write 鈥�,鈥� , referencing what she calls the greatest song of all time.聽

The label set up a series of writing sessions in London, which began to bear fruit. 鈥淟adan was on fire,鈥� Gladwell said.

But it was during a session in Bristol with Adrian Utley 鈥� who Hussein described as 鈥渢he greatest guitarist in the UK鈥� 鈥� and producer Ali Chant, that things really started to gel.

鈥淚 thought she was utterly聽brilliant,鈥� Utley, whose work with the influential trip hop trio Portishead might also be dubbed 鈥渄oom soul,鈥� said over the phone from Bristol. 鈥淚 very rarely hear a voice that connects with me in that way 鈥� aside from very famous people like Neil Young or Hope Sandoval 鈥� where I can just feel the music happening.”

With a green light from Mute, the fourth Cold Specks album was set to be recorded in the UK alongside Utley, Chant and a live band. But when the pandemic hit, the project came to a halt.

Back at home, Hussein鈥檚 creativity started to wane. On a whim, she sent a message to Kreviazuk 鈥� a Juno-winning composer and singer who wrote hits for Christina Aguilera, Pink and Carrie Underwood 鈥� hoping to generate a spark.聽

Together, they co-wrote 鈥淗ow It Feels,鈥� 鈥淲andering in the Wild,鈥� and three other songs that would end up on the Cold Specks album.

鈥溾�楬ow it Feels鈥� is a whole bop!鈥� Hussein said. 鈥淐hantal helped me find the juice.鈥�

Over the next few years, 鈥淟ight for the Midnight鈥� slowly took shape. Inspired by classic soul and ‘60s rock, Hussein sought out the best composers and session musicians she could find 鈥� pianist Johnny Spence, her friend Owen Pallett and Terry Edwards, a trumpeter and sax player best known for working with PJ Harvey 鈥� and started building out the Kreviazuk songs through a process she calls 鈥渂ootleg production.鈥� She recorded another batch of vocals in 色色啦, and sent them off to Utley and Chant in Bristol, who built the arrangements and produced five more tracks remotely.聽

The result is a fascinating, dynamic record that swings between spirited alt-rock (鈥淰enus in Pisces,鈥� 鈥淐lose Goodbye鈥�) and sultry pop-soul (鈥淐loser鈥�), and contains several moments of heart-rending release.

鈥淚 thought I was done with the hurting,鈥� Hussein belts during the climax of 鈥淟ovely Little Bones,鈥� her voice trembling like a rope stretched to its tensile limit. She sings the line four times, as if repetition might chase away the demons. 鈥�It just creeps under my skin.鈥�

鈥溾�楲ight for the Midnight鈥� is my first classic album,鈥� Hussein said. 鈥淚t draws its light from every single individual in my seven sibling, two parent household 鈥� a light nobody else sees, which I shape into these melodies and songs.鈥澛�

As our conversation wraps, I ask Hussein if she wants to tour again one day.

鈥淚 just want to make studio albums now,鈥� she answered, comparing herself to a painter. 鈥淐an you imagine telling a painter they have to go on tour? They have to travel to Germany and replicate their painting live? It鈥檚 exhausting.鈥澛�

But she鈥檚 already started working on a follow up project inspired by classic blues and the Harlem Renaissance. Tentatively titled 鈥淭haumaturgy,鈥� it’s an album 鈥渁bout sheer frustration, anger and sadness.鈥澛�

As I click off the recorder and prepare to leave the Great Hall, Hussein asks if I can snap a picture of her, with the piano in the background. She hands me her cracked cell phone, and strikes a pose. A genuine smile appears on her face. For a moment, she looks at peace.