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Here’s the problem: everyone has bailed for the last week but we can’t get our deposit back, and because it was ‘my’ week, the girls are leaving me holding the bag. I don’t understand what happened or why they’re bailing on our last week. We’ve had the most fun first week with lots of laughter and everyone is getting along.

What am I missing and why is it all on me?

Group Dynamics

����Something doesn’t seem right, and I feel as though I’m missing part of the story. I hope you know what you’re not sharing with me. With that info missing, I can only surmise that either the girls realized they were spending too much money and needed to turn off the tap. Or they weren’t having as much fun as they thought they would have. Or something happened that made them no longer want to spend time with you.

Only you know the answer. But let’s talk it through. If it’s a financial matter, then that’s understandable, but unfortunate. They should have done their budget before committing to all the plans. And yes, they all need to pony up and share the loss. If it was the fun factor, then they should be honest with you and still pay their share. And finally, if it’s personal, then try to talk to the one with whom you’re closest and hear them out.

No matter what, they should not leave you holding any financial loss on your own. That’s extremely unfair.

FEEDBACK Regarding the man shooting blanks (May 12):

Reader 1: “37 years ago, I met an amazing man. We were engaged six months later. We are approaching our 36th anniversary.

“Like this couple, we started trying for a baby early in our marriage. Things weren’t going as planned. Testing revealed my husband had the same challenges. We consulted specialists, did three cycles of IVF and considered all options. Both of us were, as you wrote, ‘mourning the loss of what we thought would be.’

“During the third IVF cycle I was chatting with another patient at the fertility clinic. We could empathize with each other’s feelings. She shared, ‘I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t have a baby.’ I responded with what I hoped were words of encouragement.

“Later that day, as I pondered our conversation, I experienced a ‘light bulb’ moment: even if this IVF cycle was unsuccessful, I had the love, support and commitment of an amazing partner in my life and we were going to have an amazing life together.

“Right now, this couple is still processing this information. Emotions are raw, her heart is aching. Work together to consider all possibilities. We did all that and knew we had done our best. Yes, there’s a little part of me that wonders ‘what if.’ But finding your companion in life is the greatest gift.”

Reader 2: “You didn’t ask the most important question: Are the couple still having sex. If yes, stay; if no, leave. My advice comes from speaking with many couples dealing with male infertility.

“Did you know that in this situation, many women purposefully have an affair in order to get pregnant and then tell husband the child is theirs? It’s true. Only recently with home DNA testing kits did children find out they aren’t fathered by the man they thought.

“Most infertility doctors will tell you this news almost always ends the marriage within four years.”

Reader 3: “There’s no way he’s ‘shooting blanks.’ That’s not a real thing. Every man can get a woman pregnant. The problem is obviously her.”

Lisi: I do not agree with the above two responses. However, I thought it interesting to note how some people will believe anything.