Watching my dad enjoy one of the best meals of his life, I’m learning that the old adage is true: Food is the way to his heart. He declares the tender osso buco better than any version my mother has cooked in their 60 years of marriage. “Delizioso!” he says, wiping up traces of sauce with bread. “This dish brings me back to my youth in northern Italy.”
We clink our glasses of Prosecco, toasting a rare occasion: our first adventure altogether in more than 12 years. My parents are in their 80s, and we live in different provinces, but we’ve come together to cruise Norway’s coastline and fiords. We’ll spend the week on a Holland America ship, from which there’s no escape, except to our own cabins or a foreign port of call.
The knowledge that this may be our last big trip together weighs on me. None of us is getting any younger; infirmity could be just a diagnosis away. I want to make the most of this time — even if it isn’t always smooth sailing.
I’ve never felt the bittersweet virtue of patience more keenly, nor had to adjust my expectations to a new speed like this, not since my own children were small. While steaming through the North Sea, this trip teaches me a thing or two about grace, love and seizing the days we have left.
As all octogenarians do, my parents have slowed down, needing help with matters big and small. And as all long-married couples do, they know how to push each other’s buttons, forcing me to play referee.
One of the writer’s nightly Uno tournaments on the ship with her parents.
Claudia LaroyeBoth these circumstances test my adulting skills. Now, I’m the one planning detailed itineraries, making our dinner reservations and urgently negotiating a new cabin assignment when theirs turns out to be directly above the ship’s rocking blues club. But it’s a healthy exercise, a poignant reversal of our roles. It’s my turn to be flexible to match their needs and avoid useless conflicts.
Fortunately, we’ve settled on a trip style that has something for each of us. My mother is up for everything. We hit the pickleball court while still docked at Rotterdam. We plan the next day’s activities over each dinner before settling into our new routine: afternoon origami classes, nightly musical shows and fiercely contested Uno tournaments.
My dad is mobile but slower. He’s content to enjoy his cabin, the internet and watching the stock ticker on TV. But he’s game for port visits, so at the first opportunity we venture off the ship and into the tiny village of Eidfjord on a cool morning.
Perched on the edge of the Hardangerfjord, one of the world’s longest fiords, Eidfjord is home to the popular Vik Bakery. We try their cinnamon buns, still warm, then take a winding bus ride up the high-walled mountain valley, toward the scenic Voringsfossen waterfall.
As we see the impressive falls from an observation deck above a 182-metre drop, a spray of water coats our glasses, and through fogged lenses my mom points to a rainbow in the mist: a happy omen. Seeing them experience something wondrous and new is a gift worth any stress.
Left: Writer Claudia Laroye and her parents, Kathi and Emilio. Right: Recent rainfall meant waterfalls and photo ops aplenty along the Hardangerfjord.
Claudia LaroyeWhen not entertaining ourselves with activities on board or in port, we have all the time in the world to talk. Turns out, spending hours at sea is a fertile environment for conversation. We talk about their grandkids, other people we know, and their plans to finally downsize, leaving their home of many decades. I try to memorize their voices in these moments.
Disembarking in Alesund a few days later, we take in the coastal town’s distinctive setting, where traditional wooden homes have given way to art nouveau buildings in a paintbox palette.
All three of us want to reach the top of Mount Aksla for the best vantage point. Normally I would want to do as many tourists do: climb the 418 steps up to the Fjellstua viewpoint.
But instead, I gladly board the Bytoget city train with my parents, slowly meandering to the summit, where we snap selfies and take in the city centre, the harbour and the undulating Sunnmore Alps.
Matching my parents’ speed so we can stay on the same journey together is a choice I’m happy to make.
Claudia Laroye travelled as a guest of Holland America, which did not review or approve this article.
To join the conversation set a first and last name in your user profile.
Sign in or register for free to join the Conversation