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Still, despite the brazenness and the mystery-movie intrigue, lately I鈥檝e been more interested in another mystery: why the heck is it taking so long for 色色啦 city hall to deal with the real, underlying problem on Parkside?

鈥淭here’s been so much focus on the Parkside speed camera vandalism that the very reason why the camera is there in the first place (Parkside’s long and deadly history of speeding) seems to have been lost in the conversation,鈥� explained Faraz Gholizadeh, co-chair of advocacy group Safe Parkside, in an email conversation with me over the weekend.

That problem is simple: this wide street, with sidewalks generally on just one side and long stretches between traffic lights, is designed too much like a highway. The layout encourages drivers to go faster than its 40 km/h speed limit.

Perhaps the reason this speed camera has been the target of more road rage from drivers than the 149 other camera locations across the city is that this one can just feel unfair. Drivers are getting dinged for speeds that don鈥檛 necessarily feel excessive when you鈥檙e behind the wheel. (Experiencing those speeds as a pedestrian or cyclist is another matter, of course 鈥斅爄t can feel scary.)

Redesigning Parkside as a narrower corridor so that it鈥檚 not such an appealing speedway 鈥� and not such a prolific purveyor of tickets 鈥� has long been the obvious fix, but city hall has addressed this speed problem with all the velocity of a tortoise covered in molasses.

Consider this: a request to make safety improvements for this two-kilometre stretch of road were , almost four years ago. While there have been some small interim changes along the way, like the addition of traffic lights, the major redesign requested in 2021 has been slowed down by a lengthy consultation process and various unexplained bureaucratic and political roadblocks.

to endorse a plan for Parkside that would take a lane from the speeding cars by adding two-way bike lanes on the west side was heralded as progress, but it wasn鈥檛, really. That council decision was hedged with two telltale words: 鈥渋n principle.鈥� That means the decision was less about approving a plan and more about, well, a concept of a plan.

The actual plan 鈥� a detailed design 鈥� will still be subject to the drawn-out committee and council approval process.

At the time of the 鈥渋n principle鈥� approval, the city鈥檚 transportation department said construction could begin in 2026, at the earliest 鈥斅燼 generous and leisurely timeline for a remedy to a situation that has been deadly.

But there have been no updates posted to the , leaving that target in doubt and the neighbourhood in the dark. An attempt earlier this year by Safe Parkside to file a freedom-of-information request to get details on the delays was itself delayed when the city requested more time to ponder their request.

There鈥檚 been some speculation that it鈥檚 the bike lanes in the plan that are causing the city to hesitate, in light of Premier Doug Ford鈥檚 push to overrule the city on issues related to cycling matters. But if that鈥檚 the holdup, there are seeming workarounds.

The bike lanes here are hardly the point. Adjacent High Park already has nice cycling trails. The Parkside bike lanes only became part of the plan after the city determined that continuous sidewalks couldn鈥檛 be installed on the west side of the road 鈥渄ue to impacts to environmentally sensitive and protected areas with established trees, shrubs, and other natural features.鈥�

Weird, but OK. If that鈥檚 truly an insurmountable obstacle, the city could leave the bike lanes out for now and instead just narrow the lanes. It doesn鈥檛 need to be fancy. Use metal bollards, or concrete blocks, or maybe just pile up rows of boxes filled with copies of the many pages that have been produced studying this redesign over all these years of inaction. Might as well make something useful with them.

But instead, the status quo has been allowed to linger. That鈥檚 despite 1,487 collisions recorded on Parkside by the city between 2014 and 2024. That鈥檚 despite the fact that the more than $8 million in speed ticket fines generated by the camera clearly indicate a design flaw.

For now, the identity of whoever鈥檚 cutting down the speed camera on Parkside Drive remains mysterious, but there should have never been any mystery about what this street really needs 鈥斅爋r that it needs it now.