色色啦

When I moved to Canada in my teens, settling permanently in Scarborough, my older cousins encouraged me to take part in Caribana, known now as 色色啦 Caribbean Carnival.

Playing mas for the first time was nerve-wracking. There鈥檚 not much fabric to the costumes, and I felt insecure about how my body would look. The first time I played in 2009, I wore one of my favourite pairs of shorts over my costume on the way to the parade. My cousin told me, 鈥淵ou鈥檙e going to lose those shorts!鈥� Once we got there, I took them off and put them on the back of one of the trucks that play music 鈥� I never saw those shorts again.

But it didn鈥檛 really matter, because there鈥檚 so many body types, so many people who are confident in their skin, and once you see them you start to become more comfortable in your own skin. My perception of my body and myself has completely changed since I started playing mas. The costumes have become smaller every single year, but you start to lose sight of what your body is 鈥渟upposed to鈥� look like and how you鈥檙e supposed to feel, and you just start to feel good about being part of a beautiful tradition and culture.

One thing that hasn鈥檛 changed over the years is the importance of the look. While some people opt for more natural makeup, for the majority of paradegoers it鈥檚 a big deal. I describe playing mas as my second birthday party, so makeup is a huge aspect for me. And because I鈥檓 a model and makeup artist, I鈥檝e always gone for artistic looks, with full glam or gems everywhere, chosen depending on the colours in my costume.

Usually I start prepping in April. This year, the band I’m walking with is Carnival Nationz and their theme is 鈥淎 Jungle Story.鈥� My costume is called 鈥淲aterfall,鈥� so it鈥檚 full of blue, pink and purple. In terms of makeup, I鈥檒l look at the theme and colours first, and focus on eyeshadow, picking up on subtler colours you see the least in the costumes 鈥� like the purples and pinks 鈥� as a focal point for my look.

Skin prep for your body and face is very, very important. Because it鈥檚 so hot and humid, people tend to go for mattifying products, but I鈥檝e found it works better for me to use a combo of hydrating primer and matte foundation since the partying and the heat is so dehydrating to my skin. I don鈥檛 use too much powder because it melts faster, but setting spray is a must. I always bring a smaller kit with me on the road for touch-ups.

I鈥檝e also been modelling for the bands since 2007, posing in the costumes for promotion in the spring, in the lead-up to the parade. I love getting to see the costumes first, before anyone else. Every year, my cousin messages me to send her backstage pictures so that she can have a glimpse of them. We won鈥檛 talk to each other for months, but every single year around that time we have the same conversation.

I absolutely love being on the stage and I love performing. It鈥檚 the same as modelling for a Fashion Week, but it鈥檚 a different type of stage; you get to dance, you get to connect with the audience. It鈥檚 more of a performance and the costumes I have the privilege of wearing are works of art.

Crossing the stage to be judged in the competition feels euphoric. It鈥檚 like finishing a marathon of celebration; you鈥檝e danced, you鈥檝e sweat, you鈥檝e embodied the costume, and in that moment on that stage, it all pours out. You really feel like you won something, even if it鈥檚 just for yourself.

I鈥檝e seen a lot of changes over the time I鈥檝e participated in Caribana, unfortunately not all of them positive. I鈥檝e had my friends drop out as the cost of living 鈥� and playing mas 鈥� has become more expensive. Costumes can range from $350 to $2,000, depending on what line you鈥檙e on in the parade (I get a costume for free as I model for the bands).聽

The younger generations don鈥檛 necessarily understand the meaning behind Carnival anymore. I think they could feel more comfortable playing mas if they had more education around its history and the goal of Carnival, which is to celebrate the islands鈥� culture and history of resistance. There鈥檚 a lot of people from outside the community who would love to take part in Carnival, but they鈥檙e intimidated because they don鈥檛 know enough about it. It鈥檚 not just for Caribbean people 鈥� anyone can play mas.

It鈥檚 not an easy route to do; you鈥檙e waking up at 6 a.m. to get ready and walking the parade route is tiring, but you just keep walking.聽It鈥檚 so worth it. There鈥檚 a moment when you鈥檙e out on the road, you鈥檙e half-naked, you鈥檙e with your friends, you鈥檝e had a drink or two, the sun鈥檚 on your skin 鈥� sometimes I tear up a little bit. You get to a place where you鈥檙e just standing, the wind鈥檚 blowing and you feel so free. That鈥檚 the feeling that I chase. That鈥檚 one of the reasons why I keep playing mas year after year. 鈥� As told to Katherine Singh.