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For this, there are no afterschool specials or sitcom episodes. We are talking to each other and explaining what in the world is happening to us. We already knew about our periods stopping and hot flashes, but not about the menstrual changes (for better or for worse), brain fog, hair loss, decreased libido, decreased bone density, anxiety, depression, weight gain, fatigue and hairs popping out where they shouldn’t.

Thanks hormones.

We are talking to each other over a glass of wine or cup of coffee — that is making us overheat because both alcohol and caffeine increase hot flashes. When I pull out my personal fan to cool down, I’m sharing where I got it. We’re discussing both herbal and medical treatments to help with insomnia that’s keeping us up all night. We’re commiserating over the extra weight we can’t shed.

And I’m glad that we’re not shying away from discussions about perimenopause because if we don’t share with each other or explain to younger generations what to expect, who will? As much as our mothers and older female friends and family members may have guided us through puberty, pregnancy, and parenting, they haven’t said much about perimenopause — or changes to our reproductive health — as we age.

So, it is now the job of the women of generation X who are in the throes of perimenopause and menopause to share the joys — and pains — of this next phase of life.

Aside from random aches and pains (why are my knees cracking?) and not sleeping well, this new phase of life hasn’t been too bad. What I’m enjoying — aside from the ability to wear white pants whenever I want — is that I care less about what other people think.

As a woman of a certain vintage, I just don’t have the energy to care as much about what people have to say. I’m praying as I get older, I will care even less.

Getting older isn’t just about physical changes, it’s (hopefully) getting wiser and accepting who we are. We can and should reject society’s expectations of what a woman of a certain age is supposed to look like, act like, or feel like. It’s about not being ashamed of being in perimenopause and sweating like you just finished up a hot yoga session while shopping in an air-conditioned grocery store in a tank top.

Whip out that personal fan and cool off, sis.

It’s learning that life is a journey and getting old is a privilege. Ageing is giving yourself grace and recognizing that perfection isn’t a thing — some days getting it done is more than enough. Getting older means you are still living and that is a beautiful thing. It just depends how you look at it.

While our faces may not be as smooth as they once were and we’re seeing more white hairs, I wouldn’t change the opportunity to get older and to share my life lessons with the young folks around me from puberty stories to all the bumps on the road to menopause.

The wisdom gained by living life is the real gift of aging.

If I think about it, I wouldn’t want to go back to my younger years because while physically I was in my prime, mentally and emotionally I was so immature and unsure of who I was and what was important.

I’m not speaking for my knees, of course. They complain every time I stand up.