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The only time this changes is if his friends join us, so it’s not just the two of us. I know I can do these things with other people in my life but would prefer to share them with him. What do I do?

Something’s Changed

����Yes, something has changed: your boyfriend’s feelings for you. I’m not trying to be unkind, but if a person makes blanket statements then changes their behaviour with other people it’s clear they’re no longer being honest with you.

For example, if your boyfriend insisted he needed to go to bed every night at 9 p.m. and therefore you two could never go out for drinks, or to a party, but he then went out with his mates until 11 p.m., that would be obvious, correct?

This is the same thing. Do not offer to take him to a show or pay for him at a restaurant. This is not about sharing the expense. This is about him not wanting to spend time with you alone. You could try talking to him, but I believe he’s going to string you along. I think you need to start seeing things more clearly.

����We live on a great street with wonderful neighbours. We know many of them by name. When sitting on our porch having a glass of wine before dinner we will say hello and wave as many of them pass by, on their way home. Some will stop and chat for a few minutes, which is lovely and welcome.

There are a couple of them, though, who come right up to our steps and launch off on a monologue of how their day was, how their family is, segueing from one subject to the next without even allowing us to partake in the conversation. This can go on for up to 20 minutes until I finally make an excuse to leave, such as, “Oh, I better check on dinner.”

It essentially ends our personal — and what should be private — time on our porch.

What do you think is the best approach to end this somewhat abusive behaviour?

Too Close

����I’m not ‘blaming the victim’ but you invite the neighbourly camaraderie by saying hello and chatting with passersby on their way home from work. You don’t have a gate, so why wouldn’t they feel they can come a bit closer? And you initiated the conversation, so they’re just continuing it.

I’m not saying they’re not being intrusive and overstaying their welcome, and/or giving you more information than is necessary or interesting. But unfortunately, I don’t think you can put a timer on how long they can stay and chat.

You could engage in deeper conversation when you see those people approaching, and ideally they’ll notice and just give a quick wave. You could also ‘receive’ an important call you ‘must’ take.

They’re not being abusive; they just need to let off steam and you’re the first stop.

FEEDBACK Regarding vertically challenged theatre patrons (June 3):

Reader “Many theatres/opera houses have booster cushions you can rent for the performance. When purchasing tickets, tell the box office about any special needs/ask their advice.

“Also, if some problem occurs in the theatre, ask to speak to the house manager.”

Reader 2 “Being vertically challenged myself, I always book an aisle seat so I can peer around a tall person in front, and I always choose the front row of balcony over an orchestra seat if possible.”

FEEDBACK Regarding menopause and night sweats (June 3):

Reader “I remember going through this very clearly. I would wake with anxiety issues as well as night sweats (we had lost one son after a transplant, and our younger son was away at college).

“It was my husband’s snoring that affected my getting back to sleep. A few years later, he was diagnosed with sleep apnea.”